I wrote this song in 40 minutes, after having my heart broken, and realising that even though it hurt, it was the best thing that could have happened. It's about falling out of love. I was finally clear-headed about exactly who he really was, and finally free. When I recorded it, I'd barely recovered from pneumonia. I was worried about the vocal strength, as I was still pretty unwell, but it ended up adding to the fragility of the delivery. - Janis Malicious
lyrics
Heartless he smiles and insists that he's fine
as I slowly unravel to ribbons before him
Cruelty so bright and viscously refined
That i'm shocked into speechlessness by its sheer purity
Beauty in lies, distract all my tears
You make heaven and hell blur to the same thing
Truth keep me calm, distract me my fears
Every breath burning I'm trying to believe on you again
Something's been bent that can't be unbroken
Something's been lost that can't be re-spoken
Something's been locked that just can't re-open
I'm turning to ashes before you
I'm finally clear-headed - I'm finally free
Callous he cries and insists on my pity
I concede and recoil and shiver before him
Selfishly bright he expertly shines and I'm left in a rocking boat
Heavy as concrete
Can you distinguish the facts from your fears
Can you at least tell the difference between love and need
Ego keep calm, distract me my tears
Every breath burning I'm trying to release myself again
Something's been bent that can't be unbroken
Something's been lost that can't be re-spoken
Something's been locked that just can't re-open
I'm turning to ashes before you
I'm finally clear-headed - I'm finally free
I'm finally clear headed – I'm finally me
credits
from Le Fay,
released December 3, 2015
Janis Malicious - Guitar/Vocals
Tony Floyd - Drums
Sam Crouch - Bass
John Bedggood - Violin, Piano
Amy Ryan - Cello
Kahla Bramich - Vocals
Elizabeth Chong - Vocals
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